My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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