Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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