Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.