The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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