I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it