is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.