wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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