did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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