You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
