how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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