Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
