Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
