I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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