so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
