I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
