You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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