Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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