btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
