It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
