IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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