let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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