I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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