miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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