Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
