you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
