i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
