Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
