K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
