yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You may now shotgun with the bride
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
