Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
