the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
