is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
