There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
