I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
