Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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