If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
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Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
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Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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