I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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