it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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