So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
