My friends, they love my intelligence
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize