Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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