Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
