Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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