Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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