I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sext me about skeletons
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
