I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
