I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize