Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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