Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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