yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
sex in a hospital.. check
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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