he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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