So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
