oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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