Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize