I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
