there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
