I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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