I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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