I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
