first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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