Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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