No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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