first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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