Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
