Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
