There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
