I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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