So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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