careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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