i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
soo... how was my night?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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